jemfindlay
- Apr 30, 2023
- 4 min read

Quality over Quantity-The Power of Spending Meaningful Time with Young Children

Updated: May 3, 2023

What is mum guilt?

I have been wanting to write a blog on this topic for one reason, and one reason only- Parent guilt! You know the feeling, a heavy cloud that hangs over your heart, the stabbing feeling in your stomach, the invisible rope pulling you in multiple directions and the invisible sign that reads "play with me" on your child's forehead, constantly reminding you of the countless ways, you believe you are failing miserably at parenting.

The amount of mummas I speak with, that share their concerns about quality time is almost alarming. From the mum with a new baby, feeling guilty that she is neglecting the toddler, to the mumma who works part-time or fulltime or perhaps "try's" to work from home to the mum who doesn't have the mental or physical capacity to do more, it is actually heart-breaking.

Life is hectic, balancing a family is tough. Yes, it is the most rewarding job in the world but that doesn't mean we aren't humans that need to do things away from our children.

In today's fast-paced world, parents often find themselves juggling multiple responsibilities, leaving limited time for spending with their young children.

I want you to know that I see you, and whilst I am not here to unpack all the amazing things we do as parents, and the way we wear a multitude of hats, please know you are not alone.

I hope that by reading this, I can ease a little bit of guilt you are carrying and you can try out some of these things when interacting with your little ones.

Quantity verses Quality time, with children

First up, I am not saying quantity does not matter, all I am stressing today is that it's the quality of the time spent together that truly nurtures the parent-child bond and supports the child's emotional, cognitive, and social development. In this blog post, we will explore the importance of prioritizing quality time with young children, over sheer quantity, and discuss practical ways to make those moments, truly meaningful.

1. Focused Attention:

Quality time involves giving your undivided attention to your child. Set aside dedicated periods each day where you can focus solely on them, free from distractions like phones, work, or household chores. Engage in activities that your child enjoys, such as reading a book together, playing a board game, or going for a walk. By being fully present and engaged, you create a safe and nurturing space for open communication, trust, and emotional connection.

Meal time in our house is one of these times we try to prioritise, phones down, eye contact and good conversation.

We are not all great at playtime, that is perfectly normal and okay. It is important to know, that through play, children develop creativity, problem-solving abilities, and emotional regulation. Joining them in playtime even for a few minutes a day, strengthens the parent-child bond and creates joyful memories. See if you can play "farm animals" even for 5 minutes, set a timer so your child knows that when the timer goes off, mum needs to clean the kitchen.

2. Shared Experiences:

Shared experiences help children feel connected to their parents, and build a sense of belonging. Engage in activities that you can enjoy together, such as cooking, gardening, or taking nature walks. Involve your child in age-appropriate household tasks, making them feel valued and teaching them life skills. Shared experiences create opportunities for shared laughter, bonding, and instilling a sense of responsibility and independence. In our home, my toddler "takes out the rubbish" with my husband and "helps" when I sweep the floors.

3. Rituals and Traditions:

Establishing rituals and traditions can be a meaningful way to spend quality time together. Whether it's a weekly movie night, game night, or a special outing to Bunnings where your toddler pushes the "baby trolley", these rituals create a sense of anticipation and reinforce family bonds. Rituals provide a sense of stability and security for children, fostering a strong sense of identity and belonging within the family unit. It is important to note that these traditions do not need to cost thousands of dollars and be yearly holidays to Bali!

4. Everyday Moments:

Remember that quality time doesn't always have to be elaborate or planned. Everyday moments, such as meal times or bedtime routines, can be transformed into quality time opportunities. Engage in conversations, share stories, and show genuine interest in your child's day. These seemingly ordinary moments become cherished opportunities, for connection, nurturing, and building trust.

My final thoughts on quality time;

In the hustle and bustle of life, it's crucial for parents to prioritize quality time with their young children over quantities of time just for the sake of it. By giving focused attention, engaging in meaningful interactions, embracing unstructured play, sharing experiences, establishing rituals, and appreciating everyday moments, parents can feel confident in their parenting and avoid that yucky parent guilt we put on ourselves.

Remember, it's the quality of the time you spend together that leaves a lasting impact on your child's heart and mind.

By Jem